We live in a socially challenging environment at times. Upon confiding to a close friend or family member that you suspect that your significant other may be having an affair, the knee-jerk reaction tends to be “just get a divorce” or “it’s a no-fault state. Catching them cheating doesn’t matter.”
Yet, what we know from hundreds and hundreds of investigations is that it goes beyond the idea of them seeing or sleeping with someone else. It is about the never-ending conversations in the your head—the self-doubt it raises, the issues of “what do they see in the other person they don’t see in me,” and perhaps the biggest issue of all: the lies being told to you by someone you love.
The lie is an infection of sorts; it corrupts the brain and develops into an obsession. All other topics of life cease to matter inwardly, and it only gets worse when your “soulmate” is not physically present. Ultimately your brain, in the course of a hundred internal conversations, concludes that if you could just get some proof you could get some closure or at the very least some rest. Because while it’s easy for everyone and anyone to tell you to divorce, we know that there is a lot of very real life that is attached to the people and the lives lived inside your home. And what matters to your own heart.
Sometimes it is simply about having the actual answer: the name, the face, something that conclusively shows your mate seeing someone else. In other cases it can be about confronting the lies with evidence in order to give justification to the fact that you are not losing your mind.
Do all affairs end marriages?
They do not.
In some cases, the air, the baggage, the conflicts between two people is finally brought to light, and honesty happens. The emotional needs, the sexual desires, the fear of communicating or an inability to do so is left with no place else to go, and the life that two people once wanted together can be restarted.
In other circumstances, the years of suspecting and the constant lying is straightforward confronted and it is met with denial and counter accusations, and the reality of now knowing that the person you thought you knew, thought you loved, was a lie.
So, is it important to find out the truth?
It is. Because otherwise, years—and in more than a few cases, decades—can go by without ever having the chance to change the course of a life that simply seems adrift: yours.
Recent Case Summary
We were retained by a client that suspected her spouse was cheating and ordered surveillance. Surveillance was conducted and the client’s spouse was videotaped as he spent the weekend engaging in an adulterous affair with a same sex partner. The client was provided with ample evidence, including a detailed report, photographs, video, covert video, night vision video, GPS tracking logs and receipts.